2005 Holiday Movie Pool Preview | The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe | Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire | King Kong

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2005 Holiday Movie Pool Preview

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
King Kong
Chicken Little
Walk the Line
Fun With Dick And Jane
Brokeback Mountain
Cheaper by the Dozen 2
Jarhead
Memoirs of a Geisha
Yours, Mine and Ours
Syriana
Munich
Rumor Has It
Derailed
Zathura
Aeon Flux
Match Point
In case if you don't know what's coming out for the 2005 Holiday Season, check below for a detailed list of this year's crop!

Opening November 4, 2005

- Chicken Little
Disney enters the CGI Animated party, oh, just a decade too late. It's like waiting until the Summer of Love in '67 to have Perry Como do his rockabilly album. Sadly, The Big D thinks it's their animation style that's been questionable during their recent decline, instead of realizing it's been their actual movies. Treasure Planet, anyone? Seriously, anyone? We'll see if it's too late for Disney to catch-up to the Pixar and DreamWorks juggernauts.

- Jarhead
Director Sam Mendes has gone from Suburbia (American Beauty) to the Depression (Road To Perdition) to the First Gulf War (and shouldn't we just call that Gulf War I at this point?). The age-ole question is if people want to escape to a theater to see what they can see on TV everyday Then again, I usually feel like escaping to anywhere to avoid seeing what I can see on TV. 10th Annual Gourd Festival at the Arboretum? I'm there!

Opening November 9, 2005

- Get Rich or Die Tryin'
Or has Yahoo movies had it listed, Get Rich Of Die Tryin'. 50 Cent shows off his acting fo-shizzle, and if you think I'm gonna diss him for the attempt, you're wrong. There's nothing wrong with musicians starring in movies. If Rhinestone taught us anything, it's that Dolly Parton could out-act Sylvester Stallone with her right breast tied behind her back any day of the week.

Opening November 11, 2005

- Derailed
Clive Owen and Jennifer Aniston star in a thriller where the title might mean more about their careers. Owen's has never opened a film and the less said about Along Comes Polly the better. Apparently, they're business people caught on a train in control of a madman. He's probably like everyone else on the train dreading that bus ride from Bakersfield to Union Station.

- Zathura
Hmm, attempting to release a family movie sandwiched between Chicken Little and Harry Potter seems more like a death sentence. Of course, director Jon Favreau faced the same odds in 2003 with Elf sandwiched between Brother Bear and The Cat in The Hat. Two years later, a lot more people remember the middle child. He should just call his next movie Jan.

Opening November 18, 2005

- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
And on the fourth day, Harry Potter got a PG-13. Great news for my hormonally challenged friends who've been waiting way too patiently (almost like that Michael Myers in the sanitarium kinda way) for the day Hermione makes her way into an R-rated movie. However, will the kids want to see the series turn into Hogwarts 90210?

- Walk the Line
If you ever wanted to see a movie about Johnny and June Carter Cash, this is your chance. If you ever just wanted to listen to their music, you could've been doing that for the last 45 years. Can Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon make this film this year's Ray or this year's For The Boys?

Opening November 23, 2005

- The Ice Harvest
The pairing of Jon Cusack and Billy Bob Thornton would mean so much more if they hadn't already made the forgotten Pushing Tin. Who sits around and says, "Hey, how about we get Jeff Daniels and Michael Richards together again… They were great in Trial & Error!"

- In the Mix
If Usher doesn't give it up for the obvious MC Hammer inspired title and sing "Usher, Usher, I am. Usher, they put me in the mix!" in the middle of this movie, I withdraw my non-making fun of singers trying to be actors pledge.

- Just Friends
Ryan Reynolds, or Mr. Alanis Morissette as I like to call him, stars in a movie because that's what people pay him to do. That said, I still don't know anyone who's actually paid to see him.

- Rent
Broadway musicals to the silver screen are a crazy thing. Some sure fire hits, Evita and Phantom of the Opera, don't do so great. Some shows most people haven't even heard of, like Chicago, win Oscars. Rent probably falls somewhere inbetween in the "known" category. Maybe that's where it's box-office future lies.

- Syriana
George Clooney and Matt Damon star in Ocean's Baker Dozen. Well, that and this movie that looks like Traffic meets the oil world. Could be interesting come Oscar time. Is it interesting in Blockbuster time?

- Yours, Mine and Ours
It's like the bitter, angry Cheaper By The Dozen. Dennis Quaid returns to the Holiday Movie Pool for the first time since Flight of the Phoenix (Oh wait, that was just last year, who knew?) joining Rene Russo as newlyweds bringing their multiple children from previous marriages together. The kids spend the whole time trying to break the happy couple up again. I'm sure their plan almost works until some Goo Goo Dolls song plays in the background and everyone begins to appreciate the value of love, as it exists best, in slow motion.

Opening December 2, 2005

- Aeon Flux
Charlize Theron stars as the former MTV animated heroine. The movie looks interesting, sounds confusing, and still somehow seems like stuff we've all seen before. Sounds like a perfect summer movie… in December?!

- A Good Woman
Has it really been five years since Helen Hunt fell off the face of the Earth? Helen returns to the Holiday season that once saw her in two top five hits in the same year (What Women Want and Castaway (maybe you missed her in that…. She was Wilson)). Now she's in some period art film. Somewhere Paul Reiser's planning his 1-800 Collect commercial comeback and loving it.

- The Kid & I
From the category of "Sometimes these things just write themselves", this feel-good Tom Arnold movie (which is an oxymoron unto itself) is being distributed by Slow Hand Releasing. Not slow enough for my taste.

Opening December 9, 2005

- Brokeback Mountain
Ang Lee did so well trying to make a blockbuster movie with The Hulk that he returned to the smaller movies he excels at. Now, if only this didn't feel like a sequel to All The Pretty Horses we'd be getting somewhere.

- The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Short of making a forth Lord Of The Rings movie (You see, when Gollum fell into the lava at Mt. Doom, he didn't really die. He metamorphosed into Mega-Gollum, hunting down the Fellowship of the Ring one by one! (Ok, so it sounded better when I pitched it to Peter Jackson as he was coming through my Wendy's drive-thru window)), studios turned to (gasp) other books people have read. Since they made a movie with no stars, it's got nothing but the source material and the look that they spent more than 20 bucks on it going for them.

- Memoirs of a Geisha
Ziyi Zhang and Michelle Yeoh reunite from their Crouching Tiger, Hidden Point days for this film directed by Rob Marshall who directed Chicago (gee, does it feel like Oscar season to anyone else?). Spielberg wanted to make this film for the longest time and now simply servers as the producer. Did he back out due to the film sucking or did he actually watch War of the Worlds and decide not to make two crappy movies in the same year.

Opening December 14, 2005

- King Kong
Taking this movie back to the 30's was inspired. Anything that further pushes the insanity of Jessica Lange asking the giant ape what his sign was in the 70's remake is golden. Better yet, a hit might make them actually release King Kong Lives on DVD just to cash in on the hype. There's good and there's bad and then there's awesome.

- The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada
Tommy Lee Jones directs this film that is waaaaay too optimistic. Opening against King Kong, I'm guessing more like a single burial here.

Opening December 16, 2005

- All the King's Men
It's the must-see political drama of the season with Sean Penn, Jude Law, Anthony Hopkins and the cast of Blue Collar TV. Oh, I guess that would be called All the Kings-Bed Mattresses Are On The Front Lawn.

- The Producers
Here's guessing Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick didn't need to even open the script for this one and they knew every line. Uma Thurman on the other hand, maybe not so much. At least they turned to an actress that has curves to play the lovely Ulla instead of the originally cast size-two Nicole Kidman. Now let's see how Hitler in Springtime plays in Des Moines.

Opening December 21, 2005

- Cheaper by the Dozen 2
The surprise top five film from 2003 dons a sequel this season. Can it repeat its sleeper status as a favorite or is it just another sequel that no one was asking for. Meanwhile, is Steve Martin's Pink Panther ever going to come out?! It was finished in 2004. Maybe Kato actually got him this time.

- Fun with Dick and Jane
See Jim Carrey run. See Téa Leoni play. See Dick and Jane have fun robbing banks instead of being every other suburban couple for awhile. If I was David Duchovny, knowing Jim Carrey's penchant for on-lot hook-ups, I was on the set every day during taping. He's like the male Angelina Jolie, without all that humanitarian, UN Ambassador, save the world stuff.

Opening December 23, 2005

- Freedomland
Samuel L. Jackson wisely dumps Eugene Levy to co-star with Julianne Moore this time around. However she thinks the Man was a black man who killed her son. Mr. Jackson isn't that Man, but he is a man who digs deeper and finds more than anyone wanted to know. Dang, why didn't I pitch that idea to Peter Jackson?!

- Munich
Steven Spielberg goes back to Germany to make this movie about the 1972 Olympic hostage situation. Potential Bond Eric Bana stars with the real next Bond Daniel Craig.

Opening December 25, 2005

- Casanova
I don't think Heath Ledger has worn modern clothes since 10 Things I Hate About You, and by now even those clothes are dated. Is there no one else in Hollywood that can wear puffy pirate shirts?

- Hoodwinked
Andy Dick in a family movie. Nuff said.

- Match Point
Sure, I could just say a it's a Woody Allen movie and move on as the rest of American cinema has. However, that wouldn't be given you the full picture… and the picture is this: Scarlett Johansson in a tennis skirt. Could my Spice World DVD have company soon?!

- The New World
Second world, same as the first. Terrance Malick's film of the decade, as he one does one ever so often, covers the ground Disney did in '95 with Pocahontas. We'll consider Mel Gibson not singing a plus. If this film is as long as the The Thin Red Line though, I think we'll all be singing Just Around The River Bend well before the popcorn bucket's empty.

- Rumor Has It...
That Kevin Costner gets his hair done by the same stylist as Bruce Willis. Seriously, you seen his picture in the poster? Jennifer Aniston, Shirley McClaine, and Mark Ruffalo are along for the ride in some dramedy/whatever that people are less and less interested in paying $10 to see these days.


by Matt Neuenburg on 11/01/2005

Movies Mentioned in this Post: Aeon Flux, Brokeback Mountain, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Chicken Little, Derailed, Fun With Dick And Jane, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Jarhead, King Kong, Match Point, Memoirs of a Geisha, Munich, Rumor Has It, Syriana, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Walk the Line, Yours, Mine and Ours, Zathura
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