2010 Summer Movie Pool Final Report | Toy Story 3 | Iron Man 2 | The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

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2010 Summer Movie Pool Final Report

Toy Story 3
Iron Man 2
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Inception
Despicable Me
Shrek Forever After
Grown Ups
The Last Airbender
The Other Guys
Salt
Robin Hood
The Expendables
Sex and the City 2
Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
Eat Pray Love
The A-Team
Knight and Day
Dinner for Schmucks
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Get Him to the Greek
Letters to Juliet
Predators
Killers
Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore
Step Up 3D
Vampires Suck
Marmaduke
Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang
Piranha 3D
Ok, so taking another vacation at the end of August really put a damper on doing movie pool updates, but on the flip side I'm very well rested and didn't have to bother righting things like "The Last Exorcism has about a 0.23% chance of actually being the last movie about an exorcism." (However, I did forget how to use the correct version of the word "writing," so that might be a negative.) Either way, it's time for the…

2010 Summer Movie Pool Final Report!!!

The 2010 season was one that will always be remembered… Well, at least until next spring and you're like, "Wait, who got me this Charlie St. Cloud DVD for Christmas… Did they not have any coal at the store?"

Let's take this brief moment to pay our condolences to the films that didn't make the Top Five.

The "People Don't Even Remember We Came Out" List

- MacGruber found the only bomb he couldn't prevent was his own.

- Just Wright shouldn't have even just called. Sometimes it's best just to let Lifetime Movies just be shown on Lifetime. Actually, make that all the time.

- Letters to Juliet would've been a nice idea if there was even a likelihood that 14 year-old girls in Italy were literate in the 13th century. Next time just send a troubadour to pass along the message.

- Killers found a way to kill Katherine Heigl's box-office mojo more than her mouth ever could… Now that's saying something.

- Splice got spluced. I don't think there's any other way to put it.

- Marmaduke and Cats & Dogs 2 may not be the final blow against all talking animal movies, but it was a solid take-down. If Babe was still the pig he was 15 years ago, he'd take a flame-thrower to this place.

- Jonah Hex proved the age-old adage: "You can take a pretty person and put her on the cover of Maxim, but you can't take someone off the cover of Maxim and instantly make a $100 million movie." Or, something like that… It's a really old adage so I may not be remembering it correctly.

- Predators won't even be mentioned again until it ends up on G4's Movie's The Don't Suck list where it already lists Predator 2, proving they're about as qualified at determining the suckiness of movies a broken soda straw.

- Sorcerer's Apprentice couldn't even manage to turn into Happy Meal toys somewhere… Talk about a film doomed before it even began.

- The Switch has been turned off for Jennifer Aniston and Drew Barrymore won't be Going the Distance much longer. Extremely poor performing movies do catch-up with you no matter how many magazines you can sell.


The "This Didn't Go According To Plan" List

- Robin Hood took from the poor movie-goers who got suckered into this flick and gave it to the rich producers that made it. I guess there is some justice since the rich producers paid more to make it than the movie actually made itself.

- In a word, Sex and the City 2… blew.

- Prince of Persia ruled no one and confused everyone. I've played through the video game twice and I still had no idea what was going on.

- The A-Team turned out to be a B-Movie.

- Knight & Day couldn't find anyone under 25 that wanted to see this movie. Not a good sign when that's 70% of the movie-going audience.

- Eat, Pray, Love seemed to have the exact same problem as Knight & Day, but at least it had more merchandise it could end up selling on QVC.

- Dinner for Schmucks seemed more like a brunch movie and didn't get enough reservations.


The "Can't Quite Tell Whether This Is Good Or Not" List

- Salt made $115 million (hooray!) and cost $110 million to make (boo!), so that means, um, less sodium next time?

- The Other Guys made $108 million (hooray!) and cost $100 million to make (boo!), so that means, um, they needed the other budget?

- The Last Airbender made more than both Salt and The Other Guys with $131 million (hooray!) but it cost $150 million to make (boo!), so, wait, someone put up that much money and never looked at a daily and said, "What the crap is going on here?!"


The "Best Movie That Never Had A Chance" List (in the future this is just going to be named The Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World List)

- While the actual film is a fantastic video game/comic book geekfest meets the quirk and flair of Moulin Rouge, there's absolutely no way Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World was going to succeed as a big-budget summer movie, though it should live long and prosper at midnight showings from here until eternity.


The "We Did Great Even If We're Not In The Top 5" List

- The Karate Kid came in with a Crane Kick and left with a Justin Bieber closing credit song. The only thing better than that was seeing that Elizabeth Shue still looks great in Piranha 3D.

- Grown Ups showed that growing up is never what execs want Adam Sandler to do. Audiences prefer Funny People when they're actually funny.

- Shrek Forever After was not the magnum opus Dreamworks wanted it to be at the box-office, but it delivered more goods than any other film that wasn't in the Top 5. Seems like a good time to get out of the Ogre business.

- The Expendables may not have expended anyone in their cast, but it certainly opened up a great "Which came first the chicken or the egg" debate: Is Stallone a terrible writer who can direct or is he a terrible director who can write? There is something both functional and terrible about all of his latest movies (this, Rambo 4, and Rocky 6), but I can't put my finger on where he's succeeding and where he's failing.


And now… The Top Five Because Last Monday Actually Was Labor Day:

#5. Despicable Me - $241.5 million
This movie was just so FLUFFY! It was a fun surprise of a movie, like last year's Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, and audiences were glad to jump on the minion bandwagon. While it's more than a little shocking that this film was able to leap-frog Shrek to sneak into the Top Five, it's always nice to support the "new" films on the list and not tired remakes and sequels. The same goes for the next flick on the list…

#4. Inception - $278.5 million
While I was hooked from the first trailer, many weren't sure what to make of this film going into the summer season. Some even thought it might come in second place to the Sorcerer's Apprentice during its opening weekend. Oops. Leo and Christopher Nolan brought the goods and delivered the best big-budget blockbuster since, well, probably The Dark Knight… What, you thought I was going to say since Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull? I was rooting for the monkeys and killer ants just to eat everyone in the cast and put me out of my misery.

#3. Eclipse - $298.8 million
While the third Twilight movie only made a couple million more than New Moon, another way to look at it is that it made 1000% more than Vampires Suck, so I'm guessing this is still a pretty valid franchise. To think I'm only a year and a half from the most erotic PG-13 sex scene in history on Bella and Edward's honeymoon night. It'll be a lot like that scene between Danny Glover and Joe Pesci in Goin' Fishing except very, very different.

#2. Iron Man 2 - $312.1 million
While audiences are still wondering what happened to Mickey Rouke's bird in the most gripping subplot in the history of cinema, what the studio received was just about what the doctored ordered: Another extremely successful superhero movie, even if no one was raving about it the way they were with the first flick. What's funny is that they spent so much time setting up The Avengers movie that'll be in 2012, will people really be all that interested in the 2011 movies about Captain America and Thor?

#1 Toy Story 3 - $408.9 million
Reason #7,432 that I'm an idiot: A year ago I said that even if Up passed Finding Nemo as the highest grossing Pixar film of all-time, it would be short lived because Toy Story 3 was going to blow them both out of the water. So what do I do with my Top Five list this year? Put it at #2 behind Iron Man 2… Stupid, stupid, stupid. I tell you this, I won't make that mistake when Toy Story 4 comes out and I am all onboard with the New Andy, aka Bonnie, and her batch of toys. Of course, I'm sure I will make that mistake and it'll be labeled as Reason #7,433 that I'm an idiot.

by Matt Neuenburg on 09/06/2010

Movies Mentioned in this Post: Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, Despicable Me, Dinner for Schmucks, Eat Pray Love, Get Him to the Greek, Grown Ups, Inception, Iron Man 2, Killers, Knight and Day, Letters to Juliet, Marmaduke, Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang, Piranha 3D, Predators, Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, Robin Hood, Salt, Sex and the City 2, Shrek Forever After, Step Up 3D, The A-Team, The Expendables, The Last Airbender, The Other Guys, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Toy Story 3, Vampires Suck
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