2015 Summer Movie Pool Preview | Jurassic World | Avengers: Age of Ultron | Inside Out

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2015 Summer Movie Pool Preview

Jurassic World
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Inside Out
Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation
Pitch Perfect 2
San Andreas
Mad Max: Fury Road
Terminator: Genisys
Ted 2
Magic Mike XXL
Fantastic Four
Insidious Chapter 3
The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
Hot Pursuit
Sinister 2
Big Game
The sun is shining, temperatures are rising, and the swimsuits are ready for stretch marks of their own… it’s not just the signs of global warming, it’s 19th Annual Summer Movie Pool!!!

Will The Avengers best their previous films’ gross or should their movie be retitled The Avengers Rises?

Can Minions break the record of most unintelligible words featured in the major kids movie since the Teletubbies?

Will Terminator: Genisys finally be the Exodus for Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Make your predictions, cast your votes, and take a dip in the 2015 Summer Movie Pool! It's the pool where all you have to do is guess the Top Five moneymakers of the season. It's not like we're asking you to do anything hard like distinguish whether a song is by Calvin Harris, Zedd, or Avicii.

In case if you don't know what's coming out for the summer season of 2015, here's a quick run-down of this year's crop!


May 1
- Avengers: Age of Ultron
A few years ago there was this little movie about some costumed do-gooders that ended up as the third biggest grossing film in U.S. history. No, not Mystery Men or Kick-Ass (either of them), but something with a tin man, a guy with a hammer and magic helmet, and someone everyone seemed to like when he got angry. It’s possible that people are done with all this superhero nonsense and this film will be what The Love Guru was the Mike Myers career. It’s also possible that Rihanna will stop posting half-naked pictures on Instagram… just not very likely.

May 8
- Hot Pursuit
Didn’t Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler already flop with this film in The Bounty Hunter? Was this just sitting in the can for years waiting for Reese Witherspoon to be relevant again after Wild? How could Reese go from critical acclaim to chasing Sofia Vergara across Texas? This feels like something that would’ve been pitched to Paris Hilton and Denise Richards ten years ago… and turned down.

May 15
- Mad Max: Fury Road
The first Mad Max was like an Australian Dirty Harry. The second was Death Race 3000. The third introduced cage fighting and a shocking one-and-done for Tina Turner’s acting career. This remake/reboot/reimagining of the Mad Max series with Tom Hardy in the title role seems to focus on the good times of the second and leave the Top 40 hits of Thunderdome for Kylie Minogue in San Andreas singing I Can’t Get You Out of My Quakes.

- Pitch Perfect 2
While anything that’s a mash-up of Glee and The Sing-Off can’t be all bad, how seriously are we supposed to take this plot that our favorite acapella group of the 21st century is trying to win a secret, underground singing contest. I mean, have you ever known anyone in a singing group not telling where they’re performing and that you should come? There’s no “underground” society here. They’re as vocal as you get!

May 22
- Poltergeist
One of my favorite scary movies as a kid returns to be one of my “Oh Please Don’t Screw This Up” movies as an adult. They’ve already remade Halloween, The Evil Dead, and Psycho to middling results. Is there really a market for parents who want to take their kids to new versions of movies that scared the crap out of them when they were kids? “When I was your age, this made me piss my pants… You’ll love it!”

- Tomorrowland
Is there a Fantasyland in Disneyland that thinks if Tomorrowland is a hit, production starts on Frontierland and Adventureland immediately? I know I’m going to need more than a virgin mint julep to go see a PG-version of New Orleans Square. George Clooney leads from the screen and The Incredibles’ Brad Bird controls the behind-the-scenes as Disney hopes to avoid another Memorial Day Misstep like 2010’s Prince of Persia.

May 29
- Aloha
I remember when people used to look forward to Cameron Crowe movies. Now I didn’t even know one was coming out till I looked at the descriptions of the summer movie list. Bradley Cooper stars as a military contractor in a love triangle with Rachel McAdams and Emma Stone. I think I’d be a lost more interested if this had the potential of turning out more like Wild Things and less like a 20-minute scene at a bar where Bradley’s just lamenting that they’re both just so great, how can he choose to some sage bartender played by someone like Morgan Freeman.

- San Andreas
Finally, The Rock has come back to actually starring in a movie. Ok, maybe that already started last summer with his semi-hit Hercules, but now this time he gets to keep his clothes on and save the world after the biggest earthquake in California history. Better yet, it’s directed by the guy who made Cats & Dogs 2: The Revenge of Kitty Galore. Oh, I give up. This sounds like a rejected Sylvester Stallone movie from the 90’s (and he didn’t reject much!). Why can’t Hollywood ever find the right vehicle for this guy so we could smell what he’s actually cooking?

June 5
- Entourage
It’s a big screen version of the former HBO TV Show. This worked great for the first Sex and The City movie and not so great for the second (but with a Liza Minnelli singing Single Ladies scene that’ll make you want to spork out your eyes, what can you expect). I don’t recall Entourage getting Game of Thrones-esque buzz even when it was on-air. Sometimes your show is just a space filler between Ernest Saves Christmas and Diggstown. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Everyone needs a breather to get through those two movies.

- Spy
Somehow Melissa McCarthy gets time during her busy Mike & Molly schedule to make a summer movie every year. Apparently all co-star Billy Gardell gets time for is to be thankful he’s on a TV show with Melissa McCarthy. Melissa’s heading to the action-comedy route this year with Spy. That genre hasn’t quite hit the target with previous efforts like Get Smart and Knight & Day. Will MM get her The Heat back or simmer quietly like Tammy?

- Insidious Chapter 3
I like how they’re going the “chapter” route here as if this series is all one elaborate Stephen King book. This time we go back to the previous family that was haunted by the Insidious poltergeist. Can I just flip ahead to the end to see if it’s even worth reading these middle chapters here?

June 12
- Jurassic World
While I always admire the plucky American spirit and a can-do attitude, are we really supposed to believe they built another Jurassic Park, invited a bunch of people to it, and it all went wrong… again. Last year’s breakout star Chris Pratt could make this a fun ride, yet it’s just as likely to end the same way as the Jurassic Park attraction at Universal Studios and leave you all wet.

June 19
- Inside Out
There ought to be a law that prevents us from having to wait two years between Pixar movies. Or maybe they needed the break after their last three were (seriously?) Cars 2, (I liked it better than most) Brave, and (don’t mind us, we’re driving right down the middle of the road) Monsters University. Inside Out certainly seems to promise some of that original Pixar spark we’ve been missing lately. Let’s just hope it doesn’t dissolve into some episode of Herman’s Head.

June 26
- Ted 2
I was so invested in the gripping relationship drama between Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis in the first Ted, I hardly even noticed the movie was about a talking teddy bear. To find that Mila’s not even in the sequel is a mortal wound. All that learning and growth from the first film is just thrown away so that Mark can have a relationship with Amanda Seyfried. A relationship you know is never going to work out due to his commitment phobias and… wait, what’s this movie about again? Oh yeah, a talking teddy bear. Nevermind.

- Big Game
I don’t even think this movie’s going to have a wide release, but any movie from the makers of my favorite 21st Century Christmas Movie, Rare Exports, gets a special shout-out… especially when it stars Samuel L. Jackson as the President of the United States being protected from terrorists in a Finnish forest by a 12 year-old kid. Can’t wait!

- Max
In historical terms, Max was the first bionic dog who rescued Jamie Summers on The Bionic Woman during a forest fire. In movie terms, Max is a trained military dog whose handler is killed in duty and then sent stateside to live with his handler’s teenage brother. Sounds a little serious for summertime family fun, but a nice reminder that dogs don’t have to be bionic in order to help people.

July 1
- Terminator: Genisys
There’s not much I can add to the anti-legend of previous film in the franchise: Terminator Salvation. I literally fell asleep during the movie in a theater and it made just as little sense after I was napping as it did before. Even Magic Mountain renamed the coaster built in its honor to Apocalypse because no wanted anything to ever remind them of that film again. Thus, it make total sense that everyone’s pretending that film never happened and now we’re entering some sort of Back To The Future 2 shenanigans with both a new and old Arnie. Speaking of which, why didn’t the T-1000’s just go back and bet on future sporting events like Biff? Would’ve been a much easier way to take over the world.

- Magic Mike XXL
I… did not see the first Magic Mike so I have nothing to add to this sequel, except, according to the size chart, this one is apparently even bigger than the last one. Channing Tatum won’t shake his tail feathers for the Step Up franchise anymore but he will for this one? I guess everyone’s got to have their own standards. I’m just hoping my kids don’t ask if this movie’s about a magician. Yes, and he makes his clothes… disappear!

July 10
- Minions
What was supposed to be just a filler movie between Despicable Me flicks has become a major tentpole for Universal’s summer. Can the Minions thrive as a main act instead of their typical role as second ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-banana? Sandra Bullock lends her voice as the Minions first supervillain boss, Scarlett Overkill. Let’s hope overkill isn’t the overarching theme of the movie. Sometimes a little Minion can go a long way.

July 17
- Ant-Man
Marvel tried something new last year with Guardians of the Galaxy. They’re trying something even newer this summer as they move from outer space to inner space. Are folks ready for a brand new superhero? Are folks ready for Paul Rudd to be that superhero? Will they be distributing anti-itch powder at theaters for folks who can’t help but feel something’s crawling on them anytime ants are on the screen? If big things come in little packages, this is the littlest package Marvel could make.

- Trainwreck
Typical Paul Rudd compatriot Judd Apatow has his own film coming out that same weekend with Trainwreck. Written by Judd and star Amy Schumer, this marks the comedian’s first time starring in front of the camera. Will her Comedy Central ways work on the big screen or will this be a trainwreck of its own proportion?

July 24
- Pixels
I can’t quite decide if you’re going to make a movie about aliens taking over the world disguised as 80’s video game characters if you have to have Adam Sandler be the main character or if he’s the last person you want anywhere near this film? You know no one would greenlight this gonzo-concept if it was Paul Rudd or Amy Schumer in the lead. Will Ferrell may have lost his chance after his Land of the Lost debacle. Same with Ben Stiller after The Watch. Kevin Hart would’ve just shaken his head and wanted nothing to do with this. Uhg, Sandler… It had to be Sandler. Well, make us proud, Adam… Everyone who ever knew every word to Pac-Man Fever is counting on you.

July 31
- Vacation
Because Old Navy commercials and annual showings of Christmas Vacation have kept the embers burning, it’s time for a rebooted Vacation with Ed Helms playing the role of Chevy Chase’s son Rusty. Now it’s Rusty’s turn to take his young family on a cross-country trip to Walley World. Given the price of gas, wouldn’t he just fly there like everyone else does now? Eh, I guess if he did, he wouldn’t be a Griswold.

- Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation
While saying Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol may have been the best Mission: Impossible film since the first one isn’t saying all that much, it definitely reinvigorated a franchise that seemed dead in the water after J.J. Abrams made Mission: Impossible III into just Mission: Very Very Hard But Totally Doable. Tom Cruise knows to never let-up on a cash cow or you end up like Tom Hanks making Larry Crowne.

August 7
- Fantastic Four
Ah, the early 2000’s were the first boon of Marvel movies. Spider-Man and the X-Men both lasted three films before getting rebooted. The Hulk only lasted one before its reboot and Daredevil had to wait for Netflix to start over. The Fantastic Four had a two-fer run that neither tanked nor soared. With 20th Century Fox trying to hold onto as many Marvel properties as it can, it only made sense to bring back the first family of superheroes. Can they reinvigorate one of the most iconic brands in all of comics or are their changes too far for longtime fans? Come August 7, I just hope it’s clobbering time.

- Masterminds
No, not a movie based on the board game where you try to guess the pattern someone made with four colors based on black or white peg clues, but I wouldn’t put it past Hollywood to try and pull that off. Instead this is a goofy heist movie with Zach Galifianakis, Kristen Wiig, Owen Wilson, and Jason Sudeikis. Seemingly trying to play into that late-summer, adult comedy land of We’re The Millers and Horrible Bosses, we’ll see if this film lives-up to its half-wit ambitions.

August 14
- The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
Believe it or not, before Tom Cruise decided to make another Mission: Impossible film he was going to star in this remake of another 60’s spy TV show. Was he ticked that Get Smart got past him? Guy Ritchie directs Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer as a CIA and KGB agent who have to work together to stop a mutual threat. Could this be another Sherlock Holmes franchise for the former Mr. Madonna or another The Avengers… and I don’t mean the superhero one.

- Underdogs
This animated tale about a foosball player from acclaimed Academy Award winning director Juan José Campanella is… Wait, did that say foosball? Foosball. Ok, I think my summary is done here.

August 21
- Sinister 2
It’s a little sad that I used to consider myself a horror fan and I couldn’t tell you the difference between Sinister and Insidious. Their posters often look the same to me. Their premises seem to be about the same. Creepy things happen. The End. I hope one day to sort this all out. That day is certainly not today, but one day.

August 28
- Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon II - The Green Destiny
I still remember loving the first movie so much until the ending that seemed to make the whole film and the sacrifices made its characters meaningless. I watched it again to see if that ending made more sense and it never did. Is this just a money grab with some wire-fu acrobatics and a slapped on Crouching Tiger title? Maybe. As long as Michelle Yeoh is still in it though, they can have my money.

by Matt Neuenburg on 04/20/2015

Movies Mentioned in this Post: Aloha, Ant-Man, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Big Game, Entourage, Fantastic Four, Hot Pursuit, Inside Out, Insidious Chapter 3, Jurassic World, Mad Max: Fury Road, Magic Mike XXL, Masterminds, Max, Minions, Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation, Pitch Perfect 2, Pixels, Poltergeist, San Andreas, Sinister 2, Spy, Ted 2, Terminator: Genisys, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Tomorrowland, Trainwreck
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