Both Cowboys & Aliens Got Smurfed - Week 13 | Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II | Transformers: Dark of the Moon | The Hangover 2

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Both Cowboys & Aliens Got Smurfed - Week 13

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
The Hangover 2
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Captain America: The First Avenger
The Smurfs
Cowboys and Aliens
Crazy, Stupid, Love

Ya know, as I was walking by the poster to Cowboys & Aliens last week I caught the “From the Director of Iron Man” tag line at the top. It was a double whammy of “Um, why didn’t you say Iron Man 2 since he also directed that mess of liquid metal” and “Really, that’s all you’ve got?” I mean “From the Producers,” “From the Studio,” and “From the Caterers” are all such generic tag lines that no one ever falls for. When you’ve coughed up $163 million budget for a film, you better have something better than a “From the Director” tagline.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one not fooled by the lack of a decent tag line as the film debuted to a paltry (in Summer Blockbuster terms) $36.2 million. To add insult to injury, the completely Enchanted-meets-Alvin rip-off The Smurfs made just as much in its first weekend. All the pride I had built-up for parents who stood-up and said no to last year’s Marmaduke and Cats & Dogs 2 just went out the window.

Then again, The Smurfs are the featured Happy Meal toy at McDonalds, so maybe I should be honored that my previous theory about the power of getting your toys in at McDonalds instead of Subway actually has some credence. They say you can’t win for losing, but I think I just lost for winning.

Crazy, Stupid, Love had way more star power than Friends With Benefits and found a Crazy, Stupid way to open at just about the same number with $19.3 million. Suddenly, I’m Loving Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis, and their much smaller budget offering a much higher return on my investment.

Captain America’s shield couldn’t deflect a 61% drop. That was a heftier fall than Thor, yet it should hurt its overall performance much. Besides, he’s already got another assignment in next summer’s The Avengers.

Harry Potter fell another 54%, however, he’s now’s only $20 million behind the Transformers for the overall season lead. After 17 days, the wizard has collected $318.5 million and at this point the Autobots had only gassed-up $287.9 million. Can Harry push it into another gear or will he slip into neutral?

Wise poolers knew these were the two films to bet on as the #1 film of the season, so it’s no surprise they’re the two duking it out for the top spot. Whichever one prevails will certainly lead the path for the eventual victorious pooler.

The Top Five If Today Was Labor Day:
#1. Transformers 3 - $337.9 million
#2. Harry Potter 7 Part II - $318.5 million
#3. Hangover 2 - $252.6 million
#4. Pirates 4 - $238.2 million
#5. Cars 2 - $182.1 million

This Week
Things start to get murky in August and this year should be no different. Studios will crowd the marketplace with films that don’t necessarily stand-out and in a huge example of self-fulfilling prophecy, these films typically fail to stand-out.

This week’s first offering is the Planet of the Apes prequel Rise of the Planet of the Apes. While the original Apes fan in me is interested in this origin story, I’m a little confused by the premise. Gee, how on earth will we ever be able to stop gorillas armed with sticks and rocks? Our 21st Century weapons will never have a chance against that kind of technology!

The other choice is the adult-version of Freaky Friday, The Change-Up. Justin Bateman and Ryan Reynolds switch bodies so the single guy ends up as the married guy and the married guy ends-up in divorce court. No, wait, I’m just guessing where it would lead if it wasn’t actually a fictional movie. “But, honey, I wasn’t cheating with my body… I was cheating with somebody else’s body!” Actually, I guess you’re always cheating with some one else’s body whether you’ve switched bodies or not. Guess I need to find a new excuse, but still, if you are ever caught cheating by your partner, it’s never a bad try to say, “But it wasn’t me… It was Ryan Reynolds in my body!”

by Matt Neuenburg on 08/01/2011

Movies Mentioned in this Post: Captain America: The First Avenger, Cowboys and Aliens, Crazy, Stupid, Love, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, The Hangover 2, The Smurfs, Thor, Transformers: Dark of the Moon
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