Here Come The Men In Black... Memorial Day Defenders! - Week 4 Preview | Men in Black 3 | Chernobyl Diaries

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Here Come The Men In Black... Memorial Day Defenders! - Week 4 Preview

Men in Black 3
Chernobyl Diaries
It was a real tough toss-up between playing off the line "The Galaxy Defenders" with "Memorial Day Defenders" from the Men in Black song and going with the second part of the chorus "They won't let you remember (how bad MiB2 was)," but figured the more words I threw in there the less of an impact it would make. And, of course, the more you try to explain a joke, the more the funny slips away, so let's just pretend we never read this paragraph and start with the next one.

Memorial Day Weekend is one of the legendary weekends of filmdom. Some of the most popular and successful films in the past 30 years have come out this very weekend. Children of the '80s still remember standing in long lines before there were reserved seat theaters to see Return of the Jedi and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. In the '90s people recall where they saw Jurassic Park: The Lost World and Mission: Impossible. And who can forget in the '00s seeing Prince of Persia? Oh wait, it's only the small amount of people who actually saw it who want to forget it. The rest were smart enough to pass on that one and save their money for the Prince of Persia toys on clearance sale at Target the following weekend.

Speaking of which, how exactly are you supposed to respond when your kid gets a Prince of Persia Lego set as a birthday present nine months later? Are you allowed to a give a "Really?!" to the kids' parents? Do they think we don't know? Um, not that this ever happened... Moving on...

Men in Black 3 stands alone as one of the biggest unknowns of the entire 2012 pool. Everyone knows the legend of never better against Will Smith on holiday weekends, though we all collectively overlook Wild Wild West (and the more overlooked it is, the better). We also have seen what sequels no one have asked for have done. Wrath of the Titans made less than half of Clash of the Titans just this year and Terminator: Salvation couldn't even keep its name on the roller coaster at Magic Mountain. So where will MiB3 stand?

I'm guessing after the three-week love fest with The Avengers, folks are ready for something, anything, different than the superhero standouts. Enter familiar faces in familiar places and that smells success for the Men in Black this weekend. Besides, in a world of nondescript Pitbull songs, Mr. Worldwide provides his most innocuous song ever. It's like writing a symphony in C major or going to Baskin Robins for vanilla ice cream. If blasé with a capital blaz doesn't get people in the theaters, nothing will.

Competing in the "I hope everyone remembers The Strangers actually doing pretty well for a low-budget horror film in the summer of 2008" card is Chernobyl Diaries. It's got the "From the creator of Paranormal Activity" tag to it, yet we all saw how well that turned out for ABC's The River show this spring. Most people couldn't tell the difference between Oren Peli and Olin Mills. What they do know is this looks like another six teenagers get caught somewhere they're not supposed to be film (seriously, why don't these kids just go to a library or something... nothing bad ever happens at a library!). Unfortunately for the producers, spicing it up by placing the non-Scooby Gang in Russia doesn't seem so cool after The Darkest Hour did the same thing six months ago. Then again, no one actually saw that movie, so the similarities will be lost on most.

Personally, I hope Chernobyl Diaries delivers on its horror/thrill ride premise. Lord knows the Paranormal Activity films are anything but thrill rides. Regardless, it's always nice to have more choices of films to see than less, even if it's a film you'd only see if you were sitting in an E.R. room waiting for something else to come on because you don't have the patience to put up with Lethal Weapon 2 on the Spanish language station. Seeing a self-righteous South African taunt police officers with "inmunidad diplomática" just doesn't have the same ring to it, however anyone else doing the voice of Joe Pesci should be considered a plus.

by Matt Neuenburg on 05/25/2012

Movies Mentioned in this Post: Chernobyl Diaries, Men in Black 3
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