Rock of Ages More Of A Pebble; Sandler's Not Anyone's Boy - Week 7 | The Avengers | Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted | Men in Black 3

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Rock of Ages More Of A Pebble; Sandler's Not Anyone's Boy - Week 7

The Avengers
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted
Men in Black 3
Snow White and the Huntsman
Rock of Ages
That's My Boy
Every now and then, America rejects a movie. They say "Been there, done that," they say "Yeah, but when does hilarity ensue?" or even "Seriously... that's a movie?" It can happen to terrible movies such as From Justin To Kelly or even to really good ones like Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. It could have a star or a non-star or Star Jones, for some reason folks just give let it pass. It happens. However, for it to happen to two movies in the same weekend that cost a combined almost $150 million to make? That's not a rejection. That's a restraining order.

Rock of Ages rocked hardest in the heated competition with That's My Boy, though that's kind of like saying the Pillsbury Dough Boy is harder than the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man. Soft rocking $14.4 million, Rock of Ages was the equivalent of Richard Marx opening for Air Supply. Apparently, no one was Right Here Waiting for a 80's Hair Band mash-up musical movie because they were All Out of Love.

That's My Boy's $13.4 million delivery was Adam Sandler's worst comedy opening in 16 years. Yes, even Little Nicky had a better start with $16.1 million in 2000. You have to go all the way back to Billy Madison's $8.5 million in February of '96. That was the year Republicans unsuccessfully sent Bob Dole as their nominee against a popular yet controversial Democratic incumbent. Is Sandler purposely setting the same omens in place to insure the same results? Little else can explain it. The similarities are unending. I wouldn't be surprised if Nostradamus had a secretary named Sandler and Sandler had a secretary named Nostradamus.

(Yes, purists could attempt to argue that Bulletproof, released later in '96, started even worse that Billy Madison with a mere $6 million. For reasons that are obvious to anyone who lived through 1996 or read last week's Week 7 Preview, Bulletproof is not to be mentioned... ever. I'm very atheistic about that film. I don't think it exists.)

With the new films rounding out into Seussian characters Flop 1 and Flop 2, Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted was the main benefactor. Dropping a non-hairy 43%, the 2 Live Zoo Crew has captured $119 million in 10 days. This franchise is clearly far from extinct. Though the "Afro Circus" may need to leave town soon with Brave arriving this weekend, DreamWorks will not need to put its elephant foot down on a Madagascar 4. Remember, Steve Guttenberg's last Police Academy was #4. We can only hope the same is true for Sacha Baron Cohen's King Julien.

Prometheus swallowed some of the black ooze it borrowed from The X-Files and fell back to Earth dropping 60% with $20.7 million in its second weekend. Was is the fact that the more the movie tried to explain things the less sense anything made that kept people away? Nah, that can't be it. Maybe it was the idea that aliens built like statuesque Greek gods gave us their DNA and we turned that into a country where 63% of adults are overweight or obese that didn't quite make sense. Seriously, these guys can make human life but they hadn't come up with fried food to clog their arteries? They have to bio-engineer something else to kill us? Lame.

Other recent summer attempts at heady Sci-Fi films held much better, such as Inception and Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Ironically, Prometheus' fall matches the descent of the despised 2001 Planet of the Apes remake. Despite that film's almost $170 million total, Fox knew they couldn't make a sequel as it was universally decried. The hate may not be as strong for Prometheus, but whatever support it has was probably stapled together by that machine in the movie after Noomi Rapace's abdomen surgery.

Snow White and the Huntsman almost made as much in its third weekend as That's My Boy in its first with $13.2 million. The fantasy/adventure has once upon a timed $122.1 million. Similar to Once Upon a Time, which was picked-up for a second season, Universal seems intent to make a second Snow White film. Perhaps if they added another love interest, theater-goers would get more amped for a Team Hunstman/Team Charming showdown. Then again, if Shrek could beat Prince Charming, how hard can it be?

In case anyone is still really counting, Men in Black 3 made another $10 million for a $152.7 four week total and The Avengers collected $8.9 million in its 7th week for a $586 million take. Looks like Earth's Mightiest Heroes will pass the $600 million mark only passed by James Cameron films by next weekend.

The Top Five If Today Was Labor Day:
#1. The Avengers - $586.8 million
#2. Men in Black 3 - $152.7 million
#3. Snow White & The Huntsman - $122.1 million
#4. Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted - $119 million
#5. Prometheus - $89.4 million

by Matt Neuenburg on 06/19/2012

Movies Mentioned in this Post: Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted, Men in Black 3, Prometheus, Rock of Ages, Snow White and the Huntsman, That's My Boy, The Avengers
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