Ted Is Plush; Mike Is Magic; Madea Protected - Week 9 | The Avengers | Brave | Ted

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Ted Is Plush; Mike Is Magic; Madea Protected - Week 9

The Avengers
Brave
Ted
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted
Men in Black 3
Snow White and the Huntsman
Prometheus
Magic Mike
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Madea's Witness Protection
Audiences have rejected three movies in the past two weekends: Tom Cruise in the 80s (to his credit, he has remained faithfully married... just to a different woman each decade), Adam Sandler acting like he was in the 80s, and Abraham Lincoln in the 1800s. Who could have guessed they would've gravitated to all three movies this weekend?

Ted led the Teddy Bear Picnic with a fur-raising $54.1 million birthday present opening. It steals the bizarre title of highest-grossing, non-sequel, R-Rated comedy from The Hangover which started with $45 million in 2009. Mark Wahlberg's last big summer hit was two years ago with The Other Guys when he and Will Farrell only "thought" they opened big with $35.5 million. Maybe that Farrell was the one holding him back the whole time! Wahlberg wasn't one of The Other Guys... He was actually The Guy! Or, most accurately, maybe a CGI Teddy Ruxpin is actually The Guy.

Magic Mike might have been even more whimsical with a talking stuffed animal, yet female audiences seemed to be entranced enough by what was being stuffed onscreen. With a $39.2 million debut, just think if they'd made this movie 20 years ago with Fabio! Yeah, it would've gone straight to DVD. This is the third $30 million-plus opening for Channing Tatum this year with 21 Jump Street and The Vow. You can't stop Channing Tatum, you can only hope to feel inferior to him.

Even Madea made a comeback (Don't call it a comeback, she's been here for years... seriously, years... years of my life that I'll never get back) with Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection. Doesn't it get to a point where you simply can't have that many possessive apostrophes in the same title? With $26.3 million, Madea's Witness Protection protected the Madea franchise from slipping as it grossed slightly higher than the previous Madea's Big Happy Family's $25.1 million. We're going to credit that bump to the addition of Eugene Levy. He's really working his way to being known as Canada's greatest comedic actor ever. Can you see Jim Carrey pulling off a Madea film in his 60's? I think not!

Speaking of how hot all three movies were this weekend, it is time to pause and wonder where the preseason "biggest hit" of this weekend went. G.I. Joe: Retaliation was supposed to open this weekend, yet was unceremoniously bumped to next spring under the "Uh, we want to convert it to 3D" excuse... also known as, "This flick blows... Can we fix it?" As a result, Ted moved up from its original July slot to here. Universal should send a box of bagels over this morning to Paramount as there's no way Ted could've done this well in The Dark Knight's Rising shadow in July. I think everyone at Uni today is shouting a "Yo, Joe!"

The fact that Brave fell 48.7% in its second week is a slight cause for alarm for Pixar backers. Cars 2 slipped 52% last year (and over a holiday weekend to boot), so Brave is staying ahead of that pace. However, audiences certainly jumped on new offerings this week instead of seeing what was good last week. If the red curly locks can't hold their own over this 4th of July week, this film may be Brave and weak at the same time.

Meanwhile, the primaries were not kind to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Even red states rejected this Republican hero as it dropped 63%. Maybe his ideas on vampire genocide were a little too radical for today's audiences. Modern people think of vampires as sexy and debonair while people with top hats and beards are creepy... super creepy. I know I'd think twice before even talking to a guy with a top hat and big ole mutton chops.

Some news on the Top Five chart... The Avengers passes $600 million which is about $200 million more than most people thought it would make. Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted escapes the Men In Black 3 for #2. Brave has been bold enough to lock Prometheus out of the Top Five. Ridley Scott, thanks for playing... now please go back to making mediocre films with Russell Crowe. It seems to be what you do best these days.

The Top Five If Today Was Labor Day:
#1. The Avengers - $606.3 million
#2. Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted - $180 million
#3. Men in Black 3 - $169.6 million
#4. Snow White & The Huntsman - $145.6 million
#5. Brave - $131.7 million


by Matt Neuenburg on 07/02/2012

Movies Mentioned in this Post: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Brave, Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted, Madea's Witness Protection, Magic Mike, Men in Black 3, Prometheus, Snow White and the Huntsman, Ted, The Avengers
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