The Butler Serves August Leftovers - Week 15 & Week 16 | Iron Man 3 | Despicable Me 2 | Man of Steel

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The Butler Serves August Leftovers - Week 15 & Week 16

Iron Man 3
Despicable Me 2
Man of Steel
Monsters University
Fast & Furious 6
We're the Millers
Lee Daniels' The Butler
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
Kick-Ass 2
Man, I miss another week of updates, take a look at the box-office numbers, find there's eight more movies to talk about, and yet there's still nothing to say! For pool purposes, these flicks are like Nicole Kidman forgetting to wear sunscreen. They're burned before they even get to the car. If Hollywood's not even trying, I'm not sure why I should be... So, let's just try to capture the magic of the past two weeks that'll be as memorable as the 14 day period in 2006 that gave us Let's Go To Jail, Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny, and Van Wilder 2.

Kudos to Lee Daniels' The Butler as it might become the next The Help. With a similar $25 million opening, it has a long way to match the $160 million gross from 2011, yet there's nothing else remotely fitting the same historical drama genre in the weeks ahead. Well, unless you count Vin Diesel's Riddick 3.

We're The Millers is quietly becoming another solid, unsung, summer comedy hit for Jennifer Aniston and Jason Sudeikis after their Horrible Bosses packed the boardrooms in 2011. $69.5 million in two weeks and a scant 38% decline shows We're The Millers should travel past the $100 million mark and inspire thousands of other wannabe drug dealers to create fake families in order to smuggle drugs across the border. This is what strengthening the family unit is all about!

Elysium followed the Toad The Wet Sprocket path of "If you really aren't all that interesting of a movie (or a band), just come up with a funky name to garner attention." Sure, that might work for one weekend (or one hit), but eventually you're just the oddly named movie (or band) that everyone just goes, "Really... That's your name and you're just going to stick with that?" Elysium is at $55.9 million and heading for that county fair concert circuit fast.

Kick-Ass 2 failed to even kick as little ass as the first Kick-Ass. A $13.6 million start should be enough for this series to have kicked its own ass for the last time.

Planes continued on its low-altitude trajectory. At $45 million after 10 days, the flight won't be cancelled though it might be awhile before anyone asks to fly again. Fun side note, I heard the animators at first wanted to be very true to the actual planes their characters were representing, i.e. how they flew, realistic speeds, etc. Then their aviation expert reminded them a crop duster plane (the main character in the movie) could never beat a jet in an air race. Well, we don't have to be that accurate now, do we?

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters found a crowded release schedule was the only beast necessary to cause rough seas for this series. Needing 12 days to make what the first film made in one weekend, don't look for the next three books to make it to the screen. Thankfully, this can provide the title for a new reality series, Paris Jackson: Sea of Monsters, as she tries to make it through living with the insufferable Jackson clan.

Jobs hints that Ashton Kutcher won't be in any hurry to quit his day jobs on Two and a Half Men. A $6.7 million start for the story of a man whose products make that much money every 2.3 seconds doesn't seem to be a fair representation of his true worth. As always, filmmakers learn the hard way it takes more than putting wire rim glasses on someone to turn a great Wikipedia page into a great movie.

Finally, the highlight/lowlight of the season: Paranoia. A cat-and-mouse thriller with Harrison Ford and Gary Oldman featuring Thor's brother and Miley Cyrus' boyfriend Liam Hemsworth from the director of Legally Blonde? Sounds like a almost record-low $3.5 million opening to me... Oh wait, it is! Com'on, Harrison, you had me believing you could act again after seeing 42 and then you go and do this. Maybe Greedo really did shoot first.

The Top Five If Today Was Labor Day:
#1. Iron Man 3 - $407.9 million
#5. Despicable Me 2 - $346 million
#2. Man of Steel - $289.1 million
#3. Monsters University - $261.1 million
#4. Fast & Furious 6 - $238.4 million

by Matt Neuenburg on 08/19/2013

Movies Mentioned in this Post: Despicable Me 2, Elysium, Fast & Furious 6, Iron Man 3, Jobs, Kick-Ass 2, Lee Daniels' The Butler, Man of Steel, Monsters University, Paranoia, Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters, Planes, We're the Millers
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