‘Transformers’ Trans-sucks; ‘Despicable’ Not Hated Yet - Weeks 8 & 9 | Wonder Woman | Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 | Despicable Me 3

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‘Transformers’ Trans-sucks; ‘Despicable’ Not Hated Yet - Weeks 8 & 9

Wonder Woman
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Despicable Me 3
Cars 3
Transformers: The Last Knight
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

I’m not going to pretend to be a Transformers fan. It’d be like me pretending to be a Twilight fan. The fact that I’ve seen three Twilight movies to only two Transformers movie doesn’t necessarily mean I’m a bigger fan of one, I just happened to be on a plane around when those films were available. There may have been an idea at one point that since Twilight films were based on books, there was more of a story to them. However, when your 19th century-premise of a teenage girl who needs to choose marriage between two boys is set in the 21st century where most women just live a little and build a career before settling down, there’s not a lot more substance there than “good robot go beat bad robot.”

In Week 8 Transformers: The Last Knight (which makes total sense that robots would want to wear armour over their already metal frame) opened with a rusty $44.7 million. While this sum is great for a Get Out, for a Transformers movie… It’s almost $66 million less than the last Transformers debut, Age of Extinction, in 2014. What a mighty big percentage drop from one release to the next! That’s like going from your spouse greeting you with a kiss after work to a “Don’t you dare touch me” look… uh, not that I would know.

Now, if our Summer Movie Pool was based on China’s Top Five movies, where Transformers 5 has already earned $200 million, that’d be one thing. The other thing is if you had Optimus Prime and Company in your Domestic Top Five, then I hope you had a really good Top Four list.

When it comes to Week 9, it might seem crazy what I’m about to say. The success of the song Happy, which became a hit almost six months after it was first heard in Despicable Me 2, may have helped the spin-off movie Minions have the biggest opening of any of the Despicable movies. That diddy stayed in people’s ears all of 2014, along with the residual “Oh yeah, that was in DM 2” thoughts. This all led to Minions opening with $115 million in 2015, more than $30 million more than Despicable Me 2 even opened with. I guess a lot of people felt like a room without a roof!

Unfortunately, Minions didn’t keep people feeling Happy. Despite that $30 million head start, Minions actually finished $30 million under Despicable Me 2’s $368 million total. Happiness is the the truth and going backwards $60 million showed that folks really weren’t all that Happy with Minions. Universal was going to have to do something to Gru their audience back. That’s probably why they have two Gru’s in their latest movie to make up for the lack of Gru in Minions.

What did they get for their efforts? Despicable Me 3 debuted with $72 million. That’s about $40 million less than Minions and $10 million less than Despicable Me 2. Is this deja vu? How many other franchises have we talked about this summer who’s openings keep going in the wrong direction? If this latest film has legs, and we certainly know an army of Minions has a lot of legs, this film could quadruple its total as DM 2 did for a $280 million finale and secure it’s Top Five placement. If it does less than triple the total, as was the fate of the Minions movie, we’re looking at a $200 million total leaving this summer tent-pole on the bubble of Top Five success. Why do I get the impression this tent-pole is made of bendy straws? Gulp.

On a side note, Edgar Wright’s love-letter to music and crime heists flick Baby Driver opened to $20.6 million and has earned $29.6 since its Wednesday opening. Filling a void of original movies in the summertime, this looks to be a nice minor hit of the season. If only it had combined to become Boss Baby Driver, I bet it would’ve had enough to make the final Top Five!

The Top Five If Today Was Labor Day:
#1. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 - $383.4 million
#2. Wonder Woman - $346.2 million
#3. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales - $165.7 million
#4. Cars 3 - $120.9 million
#5. Transformers: The Last Knight - $102 million

by Matt Neuenburg on 07/06/2017

Movies Mentioned in this Post: Cars 3, Despicable Me 3, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, Transformers: The Last Knight, Wonder Woman
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