Will Snow White & The Huntsman Be The Fairest of All? - Week 5 Preview | Snow White and the Huntsman

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Will Snow White & The Huntsman Be The Fairest of All? - Week 5 Preview

Snow White and the Huntsman
Fairy tale mania has been running rampant for a year and a half now. Two network shows, Once Upon a Time and Grimm, both deal with the "what if the stories are true" concepts and made it to a second season (something Lost-ian shows can't claim, such as Alcatraz, The River, The Event, Flash Forward, and about 300 others). Which means, of course, get ready for Beauty and the Beast on The CW this fall. We can only hope a Gingerbread Man series isn't far behind. It could be just like the classic Bill Bixby Incredible Hulk show. Every week he's on the run from someone trying to catch him like they can and he always says, "Don't make me crumbly. You wouldn't like me when I'm crumbly."

The trend hasn't escaped movie studios either. Last year they offered Red Riding Hood (a film I believe was pitched solely on the color red looking good against white snow) and next year promises a literally giant-sized version of Jack and the Beanstalk. 2012 was the year of competing Snow White films with the spring release of Mirror Mirror and the summer take called Snow White & The Huntsman. Most could tell something was broken with Mirror Mirror from the first trailer, yet Snow White & The Huntsman has continued to stand out as the "Huh, this one might have potential" movie. Either that or we're all just at the well in the original Disney version and keep singing, "I'm wishing... I'm wishing..."

The age of the "bankable star" is almost over and the three stars of SW&TH represent that trend. Kristen Stewarts Twilight films are a phenomenon, Chris Hemsworth is a literal god in his other movies as Thor, and Charlize Theron has been around so long she was in the only film Michael Richards ever headlined, Trial and Error. Wait, Jeff Daniels got second-billed in that one? How'd the guy who saved the whole town in Arachnophobia and drank a whole bottle of Turbo Lax in Dumb and Dumber become a second banana to Kramer?!

Regardless, despite how much money all of their films have made, no one actually sees a movie just because any of those three actors are in it. Kristen in a Joan Jett bio-pic before she loved rock 'n' roll? I'd hate myself for loving that. You can bet there would've been a lot more pub for The Cabin in the Woods if it starred Robert Downey Jr. instead of Chris. Meanwhile, Charlize is basically the Pabst Blue Ribbon of actors. Whenever she's in something it's like a waitress going down a long list of beers and finally saying Pabst. If nothing else sounded good, you're like, "Fine, I'll just role with a PBR." That said, if you put all three of these "pseudo" stars together, and it's like a constellation. Maybe not the Big Dipper, but something like Orion's Belt would be fitting. Ha, get it... fitting! I was trying to go with because Orion was a Hunter and this movie's The Huntsman but then I'd already made a pun with the belt and the fit before I got to the main one and now I realize that they, uh, both suck. Move on, people. No jokes to see here.

With an Orion's Belt of star-power, how well can this film actually do? The action scenes are certainly appealing as the magical medieval vibe feels less tired that the typical cyber-robot CGI carnage we're used to. Moviegoers have pretty much passed on the last three weeks of new offerings, meaning they have to eventually go see something new, right? Likewise, an "event" film with two strong female leads is fitting given the amount of testosterone in May. Add that all up with a cup of "There must be some reason keep making all this fairy tale stuff... it's selling!" and it makes for a delicious serving of perhaps a $70 million opening. Besides, with Battleship unable to hold water, Universal needs this Snow White to have a happy ending.

by Matt Neuenburg on 06/01/2012

Movies Mentioned in this Post: Snow White and the Huntsman
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